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The Loading Dock
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SasuHina, Scene 1 
12th-Jan-2005 08:00 pm
Scenes from the married life of Sasuke and Hinata Uchiha. The story is told out of order.

NARUTO (isn't mine)

Title: Scenes from the Marriage of Sasuke and Hinata Uchiha
Rating: R for (possibly) unwanted sex
Genre: angstfest
30 Kisses Theme: #15 (perfect blue)
Scene List: 1 2 3

15. perfect blue

It has always been far too easy to hurt her.

Hinata does not cry, but her eyes are expressive. She makes noises. She is obvious in her love, and she obviously does not give it to him. Sasuke has told her, frankly, that he does not want it. He has seen the pain of his words blossom and die behind her eyes.

At their wedding, the sun is shining. Hinata counts less than half her family present. Sasuke counts no one; it is the only time he has ever gotten drunk. Of all those he could have wed, he is glad it is Hinata. He can hurt her without trying.

Why? Why bother if there is no challenge to it? Sasuke wonders, sometimes, if he has ever really won at all. For all his harsh words, she never seems to hate him; for all the weaknesses he's shown her, she never seems to hold him in contempt. She acknowledges defeat through word and action; but for all their outward blankness, her eyes do not.

Another thrust, then. Hinata sobs into the linoleum, her fingers scrabbling for purchase in an empty room. It is cold and her breathing is overly harsh; Sasuke thinks his right side might be developing a stitch. How much worse it must be for her, whose face and chest are pressed against the floor.

Hinata sobs again but does not speak; Sasuke does no more than grunt. The shutter bangs once, loudly, a reminder of the chill in the air and that neither has bothered to close the window. When it is over, he helps her to her feet. For a moment he supports her weight.

"I-I'll start the tea," she says, adjusting the clothing she had not bothered to remove, as he had not. "Um. Do you want green, or chamomile?"

"Chamomile," Sasuke says. "I'm taking a shower."

He turns to stalk away, and does not remove so much as a sock until the bathroom door is firmly closed behind him. He can still hear Hinata through the wall, humming softly, and it irritates him. He covers the sound with running water.

The warmth of the water eases muscles that should already have been relaxed. He tries to think of nothing much but is, as always, unsuccessful.

In the kitchen, Hinata hums the only lullaby her father ever taught her. She mops the floor. She sets a pot to boil and doesn't leave it, her hands held in front of her for warmth. Her nails are chipped and so is the pot, two small white specks like clouds against the spout. The pot itself is summer-sky blue: an encouraging color, she thinks.

Sitting together at the table with Sasuke, Hinata pours him another cup of tea. Her own is empty; she has never liked chamomile. Neither speaks. They have nothing to say to one another.

Next Scene
roses (by iconz_kthx)
12th-Mar-2005 10:29 pm (UTC)
Angstfest is right! This first scene has a very melancholy feeling to it, such a perfect blue. I enjoyed reading a fic that bonds Sasuke and Hinata together w/o the Strong!UchihaClan x Powerful!HyuugaClan that can happen in some fics.

A few thoughts: The word "scrabbling" makes me think of rats unfortunately. ^^;

Also, I'd suggest adding in an adjective to describe how Hinata is humming in the sentence: "He can still hear Hinata through the wall, humming, and it irritates him." e.g. "humming softly", "humming comfortingly", etc to further reflect her mood. The poor girl's just been taken harshly and to have her hum makes that part read a bit funny (as if her mood went instantly back to normal chipper mode, in so far as her normal chipper mode), even though you clarify it further later (lullaby).

I hope this makes sense. :/

12th-Mar-2005 10:36 pm (UTC)
It makes a great deal of sense. "Scrabbling" actually makes me think of ScrabbleTM, but I think I'll have to keep it--lack of better verbs.

But you're completely right about the adjective--I'll go fix that now. Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it. (Although haha, there is a bit of clan matching later on. I'll try to keep it light?)
12th-Mar-2005 10:48 pm (UTC)
Perhaps 'digging' would be better than 'scrabbling'?
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